Don't Shoot me
by gizzymoon
Summary: Kate fears Rick might be her one and done.
1. Vetoed

I don't remember, not once in the three long years we'd been working together, ever seeing Rick Castle quite as affected by a victim as he appeared to be by this one.

We were standing in the doorway of a cheap, run-down motel room. The orange shag carpet was an affront to anyone with even the slightest bit of taste. The ragged, faded brownish colored wallpaper, and orange and brown plaid bed spread and curtains weren't any better. A deeply varnished, old chest of drawers held a chunky, old television. A mirror, purposely positioned to face the bed, sat on the wall beside it.

Needless to say, I wasn't the least bit surprised to be standing where I was. This was the kind of place where murders happen.

Lanie was kneeling on the floor on the other side of the bed. I could see her moving and assumed she was examining a body.

I was just about to step into the room when the look on Castle's face stopped me dead in my tracks. He had gotten to the scene before me and had obviously already been inside. Whatever he had found had spooked him, more than anything we'd ever encountered had. He was pale and if his large frame hadn't been hidden under a heavy coat, I could have sworn he was shaking.

" What is it ?" I asked, barely resisting the urge to reach out and touch him. We were at a murder scene it wouldn't have been appropriate. But I was so absorbed by whatever was affecting him so deeply, if it hadn't been for several uniformed officers drifting around my peripheral vision, I would have forgotten.

" It's..." He began. Then swallowed hard enough to make his Adam's Apple bob with the movement. He opened his mouth to speak again, then closed it and swallowed again. " I need some air." He finally muttered before brushing past me and stepping outside.

It didn't take me long to realize what his problem was when I crossed the room and found the victim laying face down on the ugly carpet. She couldn't have been more than sixteen or seventeen years old. She was completely nude, the only thing covering her was a tangle of long, reddish blond hair hanging nearly to her waist. Even I had to take a step back at the initial sight of her.

Alexis. It absolutely could have been Alexis. She was so similar it was eerie. No wonder he was so shaken.

Lanie threw a look at me over her shoulder and gave me a sad shake of her head. " I know. I tried to send you a text before you got here to warn both of you, but Castle showed up before I got a chance."

" Do we have an I.D. ?" I asked, needing to put another name to this girl.

She just looked too much like Castle's daughter for my comfort.

" Not yet." Lanie answered. " They're combing the place but so far they haven't found anything. I'd say she's about seventeen. C.O.D. Looks like strangulation. There is some pretty heavy bruising around her neck. I think I can almost make out a hand print and it's a big one."

I nodded in response. " How about a time ?"

She looked back at the girl. " One maybe two hours ago. I'll know more when I get her back to the lab. The guy next door said he heard a ruckus and called the motel manager. Manager said he called several times. Got a little busy up front and tried again. When he still didn't get an answer, he came down, saw the door was ajar and came in. He found her and called us."

" Let me know when you know more." I told her. Then turned to go find Castle.

He was leaning with his back against the rear window of my car. I joined him, adopting the same position and crossing my arms over my chest to fight off the chill in the air.

" You okay ?" I asked as I nudged his shoulder.

He glanced at me for the first time and the look on his face said he was far from okay. " I'll be fine."

" Are you sure ?" I replied, not believing him for a second.

" You have a case to work." He told me. " Go do what you do. I'll be okay. It just startled me."

I nodded. " I was a little startled myself. Have you called her yet ?"

" Just now. She's fine, working on a paper with Ashley." He gave me one of his ' you know me so well,' smiles and I returned it with a sincere one of my own.

" Why don't you go on back to the station ? I'll meet you there when I finish up here. It's freezing out here." I suggested.

" I took a cab here. I'll just wait for you in the car. It's not that cold." His breath was making a cloud of vapor as he spoke, only serving to prove him a liar.

" Okay." I answered finally. " But at least turn the heater on. I don't want to come out here and find you frozen to death in my front seat."

He ducked his head in the form of a response and I handed him my keys before walking away.

It really was freezing. I had heard several news reports that a blizzard was on it's way. That would make working this case that much harder. A big enough storm would shut down half the city as a result and make getting any kind of labs take that much longer.

There was only two witness to interview at the scene, the night manager that had found the girl and the man occupying the room next door that had called in the complaint. The manager didn't remember anything about the person that had rented the room except that it was a male. The man next door had only heard the struggle he hadn't seen anything that would help us. No one else saw anything useful.

Shit, I thought with a sigh as I headed towards my car. They were loading the girl into the ambulance and CSU was still sweeping the room. There wasn't anything else for me to do at the scene.

It was time to go look through missing persons records and see if something looked promising. It was going to be a long night.

" Well, what's the story ?" Castle asked as soon as I got into the driver's seat and fastened my seat belt.

He was in the process of fastening his own belt and our elbows knocked against each other in the confined space.

" Haven't got one yet." I told him. " All we know is she was young and she was apparently strangled."

" No sign of forced entry on the door means she must have known the person." He commented casually.

I tried to hide my smile. I was always a little surprised at how much he thought like a cop.

" Manager says all he remembers is that it was a man that rented the room. Ryan and Esposito are running down the credit card receipt." I said as I flipped on the windshield wipers before pulling out into traffic. The snow was already pelting my windshield in a pretty steady stream. I was beginning to think that the weathermen might have been right this time. It looked like it was going to be a bad one.

Castle leaned forward and looked out the front windshield. " It's really coming down out there."

I nodded. " They say we're in for a bad one. Want me to take you home before I go to the station ?"

" You aren't going to go to the station in this weather ?" He said, making it sound more like a question than a comment.

" I have a case." I answered.

" Beckett, that girl will still be dead in the morning." He glanced at his watch. " It's almost midnight. There isn't anything you can do for her tonight."

" I'm going to go through missing persons files." I informed him. " You know I can't just leave it like that. She deserves a name at the very least."

I nearly jerked away when his hand came to rest on mine where it was sitting on the gear shifter.

" I understand. You know I do, but it can wait till morning. Then I'll help you look over every piece of paper we can find. We'll find out who she was."

My car skidded a little as I turned a corner and I realized he was probably right. The roads were already getting slick. Going to the station would mean taking a chance of getting stuck there till morning. I certainly didn't want to do that. " Alright. I suppose you're right."

" You'll go home then after you drop me off ?" He pushed.

" I'll go home." I answered.

I pumped the breaks as my car did another skid.

Castle shifted and I glanced over at him. " Maybe you'd be better off just staying at my place tonight."

I rolled my eyes at him. " I'll be fine."

My windshield wipers were struggling to keep up with the heavy snow fall and as I turned another corner and did another, much more dramatic skid, I knew he was probably right.

God, I hated it when that happened.

He settled back in his seat with a smug smile on his face. " Do you prefer the right side of the bed or the left ?" He asked.

" I prefer the guest room." I rolled my eyes at him.

" But what fun would that be ? Seems a shame to waste a perfectly good cuddle opportunity."

I took my hands off the wheel long enough to hit him in the shoulder.

" Apples !" He yelled out his 'safe word' as he grabbed his arm like I'd seriously wounded him.

" You are such a baby." I said as I pulled into his parking garage.

" How about this ?" He suggested as we stepped into his elevator. " I'll make a fire. We'll have a little wine, maybe find a nice old movie to watch, cuddle up on the sofa under a blanket. It'll be like a grown up slumber party."

I couldn't help but chuckle at him. He was doing an admirable job of being his old obnoxious self. But underneath it was a hint of something serious. He really had been shaken by the girl at the crime scene and he didn't want to be alone. I could see it written all over his face, but only because I knew him as well as I did.

" Alright. A fire, a glass of wine, one movie and you stay on your own end of the sofa and I'll stay on mine." I conceded.

His head came to rest on my shoulder and he gave me a sad, bewildered look that I knew was just for show. " But how will we cuddle ? My arms aren't that long."

I jabbed him with my elbow.

" You are always so violent." He whined, taking a step backward.

" What can I say ? You just have a way of bringing it out in me." I answered as the doors opened

" Casablanca." He suggested.

He had a fire roaring away in the fireplace, a bottle of wine was opened between us and we were arguing over what movie to watch.

The apartment was apparently empty. A note in the kitchen said that Alexis was staying the night with Martha at her new place because she was closer to Alexis' school and if the roads were bad in the morning it would be easier for her to get there from her grandmother's. It made sense. It also made me very nervous. And I could tell that Castle was a little bothered by it. I knew he wanted to see her, to make sure, with his own eyes that she was okay. But again he was being a real trooper about the whole thing, refusing to let on how upset he really was.

I shook my head. " I'm really not in a Casablanca mood." I answered. Really I was just not about to sit here in the dark with Castle, sipping wine and watching a movie like Casablanca, alone in his apartment without our normal buffers to hide behind. That could only lead to bad things, really, really bad things.

I had admitted, at least to myself, that the man sitting beside me was growing on me. In fact, on the rear occasion when we didn't spend the day together I found myself missing him terribly. He had become my best friend. That I had admitted out loud. What I couldn't tell him or anyone else, was that I was incredibly, almost irresistible attracted to him as well. I kept telling myself the reason for that was because he meant so much to me as a friend that I simply didn't want to risk losing him by making this thing between us something more. I kept telling myself that my feelings for him were nothing more than lust and I would get over it eventually.

We'd been together for three years now and I still wasn't over it. And if I was honest with myself, I knew the reason.

I was rarely honest with myself. But deep down I knew my feelings for him had turned into something much deeper than lust.

I had the sneaking suspicion that I could very well be in love with him. I had never been really, really in love before. In all honesty I hadn't even believed in such things before he came into my life.

But there it was, just like they talk about in movies like Casablanca. Yeah, well, look how that worked out for them.

No, I was prepared to fight against this... whatever it was between us to the very end.

The reason for that was simple. I could see myself falling for this man beside me. He made me laugh. At times it felt like he could read my mind. He was a genuine good guy. I hadn't met many of those in my life. He had a heart the size of Texas. That was apparent in his earlier reaction to the victim. His love for his daughter was enough to melt the insides of any warm-blooded woman. Who could resist that ? But it was more than that. Somehow, he got me. He just plain got me. Few people really did. In fact, I wasn't sure I'd ever met anyone that understood me like he did.

So when I say I could see myself falling for him. I mean really, really falling and that thought scared the hell out of me.

I wasn't even sure I knew how to be that invested in someone else.

" Beckett ?" I heard him call my name and I turned to look at him.

He had gotten up and was standing in front of the entertainment center with a DVD in each hand, looking at me expectantly.

" Have you even heard a word I've said ?" He asked.

I gave him a smile and shook my head. " I'm sorry. I guess I was somewhere else for a minute."

He dropped his hand to his sides and came back to sit beside me. " If you're that tired, I understand. We can call it a night."

" No." I shook my head. " It isn't that. I was just lost in thought."

" Was it about the case ?" He asked and the concern on his face nearly turned me into a puddle of goo.

" No." I answered. " Actually it wasn't."

That slow, crooked smile that I love so much eased over his rugged features and his eyebrows raised suggestively. " Were you imagining me naked ?"

Wow, that was actually pretty close. Like I said, sometimes it felt like he could read my mind.

" Yes, now can I borrow your restroom ? I'm suddenly very nauseous." I teased.

He dropped the DVD cases and clutched at his heart as he fell back against the sofa cushions. "Detective, you wound me."

" I haven't yet but I will if you don't just pick a movie already." I answered.

" So you're leaving it up to me ?" He asked as he sat back up. He was wearing a pair of tight fitting jeans tonight and I had a hard time not fixating on the way they hugged his muscular thighs as he moved.

" Yes," I muttered and took a drink of wine to fight against my suddenly dry throat. Why hadn't I noticed those earlier ?

Oh, the coat. I thought. Earlier he had been wearing a coat to conceal those jeans and the deep blue, button down shirt as well. The shirt that was the perfect color to make his eyes sparkle when he smiled.

Another drink of wine was suddenly in order. Or maybe that was my problem to begin with. But surely not, I hadn't had that much to drink.

He came back to sit on his end of the sofa and glanced over at me. " I think you'll like this one. It's a classic."

He nodded and I turned my attention to the television. I watched as the opening credits began and cast a look of exasperation at him when I realized what we were watching. " The Godfather, Castle ? Really ?"

He shrugged. " I was in a 'Godfather' kind of mood."

" Castle, it's almost one in the morning. This movie is three hours long and I have to work tomorrow." I protested.

He leaned forward and pulled the curtain from the window behind us. " About that," He told me. I followed his gaze and gasped when I saw what we was looking at. " I don't think anyone will be expecting you to be at work bright and early."

The snowing was falling past the window at an alarming rate. It takes quite a lot to shut down a city like New York, but what was happening outside the window might just do it. I hadn't seen snow fall like that in my life. Everything was covered in white. Some of the banks were high enough to reach halfway up the front doors of the building on the street around us. It was a blizzard alright.

" I have a case to get started on in the morning. That girl needs me." I replied, even though I knew he was about to argue with me.

" Kate, how much do you think you can get done if you are the only person in the city that goes to work tomorrow ? You know there won't be any labs. No courts for warrants. New York City is on hiatus at least for the next twenty-four hours. Can't you sit back and just enjoy it ?"

" Not when I have things to do." I answered defiantly.

" I'll bet you studied on snow days in school." He muttered as he turned back to the television and left me alone with my thoughts.

I had been one of those kids actually. But I wasn't about to tell him that. I had never been one for sitting around idly. That girl deserves justice and there was no way I could go to her parents and tell them that I would have caught the guy, but I needed to take a snow day.

My phone rang before either of us could say anything else. I grabbed my coat which was thrown over a vacant chair, pulled it out of my pocket and answered it.

" We caught the guy." Esposito said as soon as I'd said hello.

" What ?" I asked, startled. We hadn't even had a chance to investigate anything. How could they have found the killer ?

" Guy came into the station and confessed. Said they were playing a game and it went too far. He freaked and started to run, but he had a change of heart. We've got him in custody." He explained.

" Really ? Just like that ?" I asked, still not believing.

" Yeah, just like that." He replied. " Sometimes it's just that easy."

" We're sure he's telling the truth ? There isn't some huge coverup or twist to this ?" I pressed. Since I'd been working with Castle nothing ever seemed that cut and dry.

" No, hand prints on the girl's neck match his. His story checks out. It's true. Captain Montgomery was here at the station. He's calling the girl's parents now." He told me.

" Alright." I said. " I guess see you all tomorrow."

" Nope, unless something new comes in, Captain says we should stay home. Looks like a blizzard out there." He told me.

I was shaking my head as I flipped the phone shut and put it back in my pocket.

" What was that ?" Castle asked from right over my shoulder. He had gotten up and was now standing behind me, trying to eavesdrop on my conversation.

" The girl's killer just came in and confessed." I told him, then turned and realized exactly how close he was.

My hand went to the middle of his chest to steady myself. I had stumbled at seeing his proximity. I willed myself not to look up. He was so close I would have been staring into his eyes if I did.

" Just like that ?" He asked, though he didn't move away and his voice had dropped several levels in volume.

" Yeah." I said. " He panicked at first but when he calmed down, he came to the station and confessed."

I looked up, no longer able to resist the urge to do so. I wanted to see his face, and it was becoming awkward as I continued to speak into his chest. When I did, I found he was staring rather fixatedly at my lips. I snaked my tongue out to lick them on instinct. I wasn't even thinking when I did it. But he noticed and his breath hitched in reaction.

" It looks I can stay up and watch the movie after all. We aren't working tomorrow unless something new comes in." I told him.

" Well, we can hope nothing comes in. After all, there is a blizzard going on outside. It's too cold for people to murder each other." He answered.

Alright, Fuck ! It was time to end this. I needed to get away from him. He was too close. His voice too quiet, too husky. This was not good.

God help me, if he didn't move soon, I was going to kiss him.

There was a long pause where neither of us moved. We just stood there, nearly in each other's arms staring into each other's eyes and saying nothing. I could almost see him thinking the exact same thoughts that I was. It was spooky. For those handfuls of moments, it was like we were sharing the same brain.

Finally I squirmed a little self consciously. Castle took a step back in response reading my movement as the ' back off ' symbol it was supposed to mean. Like I said, he got me.

He settled back into his end of the sofa and I went to mine. We draped a heavy afghan around us and went about watching the movie in silence.

I had no idea how my feet ended up in his lap. I was leaning against the arm of the sofa in an awkward position, when Castle beckoned me to stretch out. I did as he suggested, nestling my feet against his leg as I did. The next thing I knew, he had my feet in his lap and he was doing absolutely exquisite things to them with his hands.

I don't even know what was happening with the movie. I had long since shut my eyes and let myself indulge in the feel of his hands on my skin, rubbing away the last of the day's aches and pains with a masterful touch. It was Heaven. I always knew he'd be good with his hands. Something about them just said that they were the kind of hands that knew what they were doing. But this was far beyond my imagining. He knew just where to touch, just how hard to rub. It was bliss.

" Are you hungry ?" He asked after grabbing the remote and pausing the movie.

I hadn't even noticed it until he mentioned it. Now it occurred to me that I was starving. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd slowed down long enough to eat. " I could eat." I said.

" I'll make us something. It won't take long." He offered.

He had just gotten to his feet when the apartment went black, save for the light coming from the fire in the fireplace.

He turned to me with a helpless look. " I think we just lost power."

" This building has a back up generator, right ?" I asked, getting to my feet beside him.

" I don't know." He answered. " We've never lost power before."

We stood there in the middle of his living room with blank looks on our faces, staring at the darkness surrounding us and waiting. And waiting.

" I guess we don't." He mumbled under his breath.

" Come on." He nudged my arm and gave me a crocked smile. " It'll be okay. It's like camping."

I huffed in frustration. " I don't camp. Have you ever seen me camp ?"

" Well no, but surely you've been camping before. You know out in nature. Being all natural."

I pulled my hair out of my face and let it fall back to my shoulders. " I think I'm just going to go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

He stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. " You can't go to bed now. You said you were hungry. What kind of host would I be if I let my guest go to bed hungry ?"

I sighed in defeat. " I thought you said you were going to cook something. You can't do that now."

He started for the kitchen, pulling me along behind him. " There is plenty to eat here that you don't have to cook. We'll find something."

We ended up sitting on a blanket in front of the fire nibbling on a tray of cold cuts, fruits, vegetables and cheese. I had no idea how we ended up there, but we had. It was ridiculous really. Like the cover of some ridiculous romance novel. At least we weren't feeding each other.

" You have to try this." He said from across the blanket as he held out a piece of cheese towards me.

I leaned forward, took the bite and thought, well there goes that.

It was very tasty though.

We were both dressed in one of Castle's sweaters. He had offered me something out of Alexis' closet, but it was upstairs and we didn't have a light. So I settled for one of his. It was a heavy, navy blue cable-knit and it was huge on me, of course. But it smelled like him and I was tempted to figure out a way of taking it home with me. I felt like I was being wrapped in a huge Castle hug and I found myself really liking the way that felt.

The man in question was currently turned with his back away from me, messing with something he had hidden.

I immediately became worried. This was Castle, after all. I was afraid that any second now I was going to be hit with a face full of whip cream or a lazer tag shot to my chest.

I started to lean forward so I could see around him, but his hand shot out and landed in the middle of my chest to stop me. Right in the middle of my chest. I think he was aiming for my shoulder. He missed and now he was sitting there with his large hand practically cupping both of my breasts. But by now my momentum had drawn me forward and he was the only thing keeping me from toppling over. So we were more or less stuck until I got a hold of myself enough to make an awkward shift so he could let me go.

There was just no causal way out of our position. There was no brushing it off and pretending like it hadn't happened. It had happened and we both knew it.

I moved my knees forward enough to take my own weight and moved out of his touch. Even through the heavy sweater I could still feel the heat from his hand. We were just staring at each other again, just like before. Just frigging staring and thinking. Thinking things neither of us had any business thinking.

I cleared my throat and tried again to look over him to see what he was doing. " What are you playing with ?" I asked him. I was going with the plan of pretending like nothing happened. It was a good plan. I used it often and usually it worked.

Castle seemed to shake himself physically as if he were shaking the thoughts from his head. Then he turned back away from me and reached to the floor.

" I was just getting this." He answered. He held a stretched wire hanger up and looked at me with a devilish smile.

See, I knew I was right to worry. I had no idea what he intended to do with the twisted piece of wire, but it couldn't have been anything good. Of that I was certain. The look on his face alone said he was about to misbehave. I knew that look. I worked hard to spot it on a daily basis before anything got out of hand. I shook my head mentally. Damn, I didn't need children of my own. I was too busy raising Rick Castle.

" What is that for ?" I asked when he continued to look at me like I should know what it was for and should be really happy it was there.

His look turned exasperated and reached behind him for something else. It was a bag of marshmallows and I gave a sigh of relief. How much damage could he do with marshmallows ?

Next came a couple of chocolate bars and a baggie of graham crackers.

S'mores. He was going to try to make s'mores in the fireplace.

" I haven't had one of those since I was a little girl." I confessed.

" Alexis and I used to do this all the time. During the winter when there's no way to go outside and play, we would pack a bag and go camping in the living room. For real camping, we'd sleep right here in sleeping bags and toast marshmallows and tell stories."

" Who does that with their kids anymore ?" I asked in amazement.

He shrugged. " I do. Alexis was the best playmate I've ever had. Still is, when she has time for me."

" She's growing up. It happens." I commented, then cast a look in his direction, " In most cases."

He was putting the last touches on the first of the s'mores and I found myself watching his hands as they moved. " What is so wrong with knowing how to have fun ?" He asked as he picked up his completed creation and held it out to me.

I reached for it, trying hard not to make a mess of the oozing chocolate and marshmallow coming out of the sides. He smiled as he watched me trying to wrangle the thing into my mouth without getting any of it on me. When I was done, it was all over my fingers. I really wasn't thinking about anything but the fact that there was really good chocolate going to waste. I began to lick each of them in turn before licking anything that might remain from my lips.

I was pretty absorbed in what I was doing so I wasn't paying any attention to Castle at all. I had almost forgotten he was in the room. I was so hungry and it was just that good.

When I finished it off and looked up at him. He wasn't smiling anymore. It was like his smile had oozed from his face. Now he just looked dumbfounded. He wasn't moving, wasn't saying anything. I thought he was doing that thing he does when he has a profound thought that breaks our case wide open. That was the look he was giving me.

" What is it ?" I asked when he still hadn't moved. I noticed I was fidgeting subconsciously and tried to stop.

" I'm about to do one of those ridiculously stupid things I do sometimes that always gets me in trouble and I really need you to stop me." He said after another minute stretched between us.

My eyebrow wrinkled in confusion. " What are you talking about ?"

He was completely facing me now instead of sitting in profile as he had been. And I could have sworn he was getting closer to me by the second but I didn't see him moving. Maybe because I couldn't' make myself look away from his eyes.

There was something there I hadn't really seen before. I had caught glimpses now and again, but never had I been a party to the full on ' Castle ' lusty stare.

It was a sight to see. Like one of the Wonders of the World. It captivated me so totally I didn't know anything else existed at the moment. I was fascinated as he grew closer and closer to me. He immobilized with that stare.

Did he say he was about to do something stupid ? Was this what I was supposed to be talking him out of? And then like a light bulb dinging on over my head, I understood. He was about to kiss me.

Castle was going to kiss me. That was the stupid thing he was about to do.

Then he paused with his lips almost brushing mine as he spoke. " Promise you won't shoot me."

I barely managed a weak, " I promise." before he was on me. His lips covering mine in the most delicious kiss I'd ever experienced. My hands were balled in fists where they sat on the blanket beside me, but only for a second. When I didn't immediately resist, he moved closer still and drew me into him. My hands went around his shoulders, burying themselves in his hair without my knowledge or consent.

Suddenly I realized that he wasn't really asking me not to shot him. He didn't really believe that I would pull my weapon on him. And this was far from a lusty afterthought, spur of the moment kiss. There was more than that. His lips moved over mine in something close to relevance and his arms were holding me so tightly it was hard to breath. And while it had started out as something heated, now it was gentle, tender. There was feeling in that kiss. Big feelings and I definitely wasn't sure I was ready to deal with those feelings. I had only just accepted the fact that I might be capable of feeling those kinds of emotions. Emotions so strong they made your entire world look different.

When we finally broke apart reluctantly, I could have sworn he was shaking. Or maybe I was. We were so close it was hard to tell.

" I'm sorry." He whispered as his forehead leaned against mine. I was pointedly refusing to look at him. He thought I was angry. Really, I was afraid that if I looked at him right then, I would cry. I was that close to losing control.

But Castle, being Castle, of course he couldn't just let it go and give me a moment to compose myself. Oh no.

His finger came up under my chin and he slowly raised my eyes to his.

The minute I looked at him I felt the stinging of tears. If he saw me tearing up, he'd know how much he affected me. I didn't want that to happen. I couldn't trust him with that kind of knowledge. My life, yes, but not that.

He'd said it himself, Great dad, really bad husband. I could not afford for Richard Castle to become my one and done. There was no way.

But if I didn't put some distance between us soon, that was exactly what was going to happen. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a huge abyss and I was slowly falling. The longer we sat there as close as we were with him completely surrounding me, the faster I fell.

Then he pushed the envelope even further and whispered my name. " Kate." I loved the sound of him saying my first name.

I lunged for him, kissing him again, this time kissing him the way he had kissed me. I wasn't ready to talk about how I felt yet, but I couldn't stop myself from showing him. Like my body was betraying me. It had been more than patient with me though, countless times over the last few years I had fought off the urge to just attack him. Now my body was overriding my mind. It didn't care what I thought about what was happening anymore. It just wanted him and it was taking him. Whether it was a good plan or not.

It wasn't. I knew it wasn't. I'd been continually warning myself against this plan. Now here I was, fists balled into his sweater as I yanked him even closer to me and deepen the kiss further. I had been vetoed.


	2. What Works

Castle POV

God, she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I had waited so long for this. Imagined it so many times. Kate Beckett was in my arms. Her hands were twisted in my sweater and her mouth was doing something so wonderful to mine I couldn't think straight.

Well, to tell the truth, I hadn't been thinking straight for a while now. Not since seeing the way the firelight lit her face as she cleaned the bits of chocolate from her fingers after the s'mores. She had to have known what she was doing to me with that. She had to. She was far too intelligent, too perceptive not to know. This was a woman who never missed anything.

But when it came to her personal life, I swear you had to hit this woman over the head with a brick to get a message through to her brain. The look on her face right before I kissed her was so shocked, like she had no idea that was my intention. How could she not have known ?

Something, some unseen force of nature, had been working on us all night.

One of her hands was now moving over my chest. Then her mouth sort of fell. I could feel it under my lips. Like she had been smiling while kissing me before and now she wasn't anymore. A frustrated little noise from the back of her throat told me I was right and I pulled back to see what the trouble was.

It was too late for her to be indignant about me kissing her. She didn't have any right to be angry at me for this now. She had kissed me the second time. We were on even ground, all blame claim's destroyed.

Her hand was still moving along my chest, but the other one had joined it and both were now moving down towards the waistband of my jeans.

There was a furrow knitted between her brows as she watched her hands. Like she was asking herself, ' Am I really going to do this ?' It was like in her mind she was about to cross a line she wasn't sure she wanted to cross.

I sat there with my hands firmly wrapped around her waist, not moving, making sure that whether she crossed that line or not was her choice. I wasn't going to interfere. Where this went and how we got there was going to be completely up to her tonight. I had gotten my victory when I managed to kiss her without her shooting me. The rest was on her.

When her hands stopped moving, they were at the bottom of my sweater. I was dumbfounded when she grabbed it and began to pull it over my head. I hadn't been expecting that. Score one for Beckett. I loved how she surprised me. Few people did.

Once she helped the heavy white cable-knit find a home on the floor somewhere behind us, her hands were moving again. A soft smiled played at her lips as she watched them move over my skin. Her thumb brushed over a nipple and I nearly toppled over with the feeling. Her eyes glanced to my face and the smile fell again. There was a war raging inside her. I could see it in her face. Two formidable opponents fighting a battle to the death. I wasn't sure who was winning. But I really wished I could hear the dialog. I wanted to be a part of the inner conversation she was having. Obviously it was about me. I should get a voice at least.

" Kate," I whispered finally no longer able to keep silent. Being quiet wasn't a part of my skill set. "What is it ?"

" We shouldn't do this." She mumbled like her lips were numb.

I knew that was what she was going to say, Damn it. Why couldn't I learn to shut up ? This was now about to get heavy, filled up with drama and hurt and turbulent emotions. In other word's, this was about to get ugly. And I had been really enjoying myself.

I swallowed hard, preparing myself for the talk we'd both been avoiding for far too long. The elephant in the room would no longer be ignored.

" Why not ?" I asked her, truly not sure of the reasons anymore.

She sat back on her heels and her face became that of the woman I knew best. For the moment the war had been won. Thanks to me, apparently. " You know why not. We both know why not." She answered, tossing the ball right back to me without getting a scratch.

" I guess maybe those reasons are getting a little foggy." I replied. " They've been getting murkier for a while now."

Her eyes grabbed mine and held them. " What is that supposed to mean ?" She asked.

" You know what it means. I'm thinking maybe I'm not so all alone in this after all." He told her.

Her eyes dropped to the floor between us. " I guess maybe you aren't." She conceded.

I moved a little closer to her. I wanted to touch her again but I wasn't sure she was ready for that.

" Remind me why this is a bad idea. I can't seem to think of one logical reason why we shouldn't do this." I told her.

If there were reasons I wanted them out in the open so I could deal with them head on. I didn't want her to have doubts about what she was doing. I intended to shoot down every motive she had.

" We work together." She answered, lamely. Even she knew that wasn't going to be good enough.

" So, a lot of people are involved with people they work with." I said quickly. I'd been ready for that one.

" It never works. I don't get involved with people I work with."

" Sorenson." I answered without missing a beat. It was playing a little dirty, but I really wanted to win this one.

She looked up at me, then back down. " We're friends. I don't want to risk that." She began again, seeing her first attempt wasn't working.

" But it's worth the risk." I replied. This was a big one. I knew it was coming. The problem was there was a small part of me that agreed with her on this one. I wasn't sure I could keep going if something happened to make her disappear from my life.

" Is it ? We know this works for us. You're my best friend. We don't know what would happen if we took another step." She closed her eyes for a brief moment then found my gaze. " Castle, I don't do causal. You know that. I'm not a friends with benefits kind of girl."

I grabbed her hands in mine. " Do you really think that's what this is ?" I asked her, shocked that she still didn't know how much she meant to me.

" I don't know." She confirmed.

" How do you still not know how I feel about you ? I thought it was so obvious. I thought I was making a complete jackass out of myself." I said.

" Harmless flirting isn't what I'm talking about here."

" You thought that was all that was ? It hasn't been harmless in over a year. Not since the time I watched your apartment explode with you inside it." I admitted.

She pulled her hands from mine and let them fall to her thighs. " What are we saying here, Rick ?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then I swallowed hard. She wasn't playing around. She wanted the big guns. Time to put all our cards on the table as see who's got the better hand.

" I'm saying I love you. I've been in love with you a while now. It isn't going away like I hoped it would."

Her eyes shot to my face. " You wanted it to go away?"

" At first. But only because I knew you'd want it to go away." I explained. I didn't want her to think I regretted being in love with her at all. " Now you're turn." I pushed. " What are you saying here ?"

She shifted around a little like she wished a hole would swallow up and allow her to escape this conversation. Her eyes darted around the room as she searched for an excuse to be anywhere else.

" Kate." I pressed, moving a little closer still. " I don't want to be one of those people."

She blinked at me in question. " What people ?"  
" You know those people that should obviously be together but aren't for some ridiculous reason that in the long run really doesn't matter. Yet still they suffer and torture each other because they just can't stand to walk away." I was rambling now. I had no idea what I was saying. I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn't seem to make the words come out right.

Kate leaned forward, closing the distance between us and bringing her lips against mine. " Castle, you watch way too much television." She mumbled before covering my lips with hers.

Her hands were around my shoulders, one of them buried in my hair. Her chest was flush with mine yet she struggled to get closer still. I helped by wrapping my arms around her and pulling her in as well.

Her tongue dashed against my lips and again I was a little surprised. Usually I'm the one that initiates that move. I opened my mouth to allow her inside and almost screamed in delight as I got my first real taste of her. It was hands down the most delicious thing I'd ever sampled. She tasted like honey and I had no idea why. We hadn't eaten any thing honey flavor. Yet there it was. There the linger taste of chocolate, but under that was honey. Perhaps that was simply how she tasted.

I dipped my head to her throat, eager to find out if her skin tasted as sweet. It did. It was simply ambrosia, gliding my tongue down the column of her neck.

One of her hands came around and began to move across my chest again. There was something going on with that and I fully intended to find out what it was about...later. Right then, I was just going with it.

I made a move to shift and my knees began to protest quite loudly and I realized I was not quite as young as I used to be. Or maybe I had just put this body through its share of wear and tear.

Ignoring the pain for the moment, I moved another inch forward, draw her into me and laid her down against the blanket.

She pulled me along with her and I went obligingly until I was stretched out beside her. My knees were extremely grateful.

I felt a shiver run up my spine when she moved her head and her breath began to blow across my neck. She felt it too and looked up at me as she paused for a moment. " Are you cold ?" She asked. It had gotten rather chilly in the room. The fire helped but only so much.

I hadn't really noticed the cold. " No." I shook my head.

" You're shivering." She answered like she was trying to prove I was lying.

I kissed her collarbone through her sweater. " It didn't have anything to do with the cold." I smiled.

When I looked back at her, I swear, she was blushing. Detective Beckett was playing coy with me. I wondered if she really thought I would buy that act for even a second.

I reached to the bottom of her sweater and began to lift it.

" Now, I'll be cold." She protested, lamely.

I finished with it and tossed it somewhere. Then I made a move right for the center of her chest. "I'll make sure you stay warm." I assured her before finishing my descent. My lips found the hallow between her breast and I lingered there. Her bra was one those lacy things with little more than a bow holding the center together. It hardly got in my way as I brushed my tongue over her skin.

I leaned over her going first for the breast that was furthest away from me. Covering her entire nipple with my lips, I gently began to suck her into my mouth through the flimsy material of her bra.

She groaned out something incoherent and dug her hand into my hair, holding me there until she deemed I could move on. The moment she let me go I found her other breast and we went through the same routine.

My hand been idle where it rested at the middle of her back. When I managed to loosen the last of the hooks from her bra. Her eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't been expecting it since only one of my hands were behind her. Score one for Castle. Now we were even.

I raised my eyes to hers and gave her my smuggest smile as I eased the straps from her shoulders.

" You are dealing with a master here." I advised her.

I knew it was a mistake the second the words were out of my mouth. Her whole face changed all at once. I knew it was one of the things about us that gave her pause. I had managed to convince her finally that I wasn't really a player anymore. But it hadn't always been like that and we both knew it. In her mind she was secretly wondering how long it would take me to get bored and go back to my player ways. And I was reminding her of the fact by flaunting my vast experience.

Again, way to go, Rickey.

She started to sit up. I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her and looked up at her face. " I didn't mean anything by it. It isn't important." I assured her as well as I could.

" But it is important." she answered. " I'm not Meredith or Gina. You get one chance with me and that's it. I don't do ' do-overs'. Are you sure you're ready to deal with that ?"

I almost said Sorenson again, but thought better of it. Even though she had given the F.B.I. Man a second chance just like I'd done with my ex-wives, I understood what she was saying. I was about to become locked into something I would not escape from unscathed. I needed to decided if what I felt for her was strong enough to make that bet. The bet that I wouldn't ever feel the need to escape.

I stilled and considered that for a moment, wanting her to see that I really was thinking about it. I didn't need to think. I'd already done all my thinking and I was pretty confident in saying that I would never feel as much for another woman as I did for her, save maybe Alexis.

I was going to tell her all that, but something stopped me. I didn't think she was ready to hear that. She wanted me to understand the implications of my actions. But she wasn't ready to discuss what it all meant out loud.

I could live with that.

I leaned in and kissed her again, letting her know that I knew full well what I was doing and accepted all the responsibility for my actions. That done, I went back to her breasts.

It was the first time I'd really seen them. They were larger than I'd expected. I guess she did a good job of hiding them under her clothing. Because as I looked at them now, heaving slightly as she drew in ragged breaths, they were magnificent. Rising and falling, drawing me closer and closer. Again her hand tangled in my hair as I slowly went about swirling my tongue around her nipple before pulling the rosy pink, hardened bud into my mouth and sucking gently.

She squirmed under me and clutched at my upper arm almost frantically as soft sounds began to escape from her lips. Now that was Heaven.

I shifted, moving to the other side with only a pause at the valley between her breasts, and repeated the same performance. It got much the same reaction.

When I returned to her lips, she was smiling again. That soft, sweet smile that barely tugged at the corners of her mouth. I knew everyone of her smile and this one was my favorite.

I kissed her, trying to see what that familiar smile that I saw so often felt like.

Her hands were on me again, this time gliding down my side so slowly I almost didn't notice them moving. But her fingertip found the place right under my rib and I couldn't help the yelp of laughter as my body jerked in response.

It had always been my weakness. I was incurably ticklish.

She was giving me a wicked smile when I came back to her. I pointed my finger at her in warning. "I swear if you use this information in devilish ways, I will scour every inch of you until I find your spot and then I will make sure that you never forget that I knew where it is."

The smile almost fell as she blinked at me in confusion. " Was that supposed to be a threat ?"

I shrugged and dropped my hand in defeat. " It was meant in the spirit of one, yes." I answered.

Her arm moved behind me and suddenly I was howling out again and jerking uncontrollably. When she finally released me, she gave me a guilty look and blinked up at me. " I guess you'll just have to go searching for that spot." She told me like it was a real pity that I had to go through the trouble.

I started by slowly dragging my fingertips up her sides, then across her waist, playing special attention to her hipbones as I skirted them. One of my ex-wives had been ticklish on her hipbones. I couldn't remember which one it was now. Maybe one day I'd ask them and find out.

When I received nothing more than a few well hidden groans from Beckett, I decided I must be off target. I moved lower, letting my fingers rest at the snap of her jeans.

Her eyes opened and she raised her head to look up at me for a split second. Then she threw her head back and raised her hips slightly to aid me as I tugged the denim from her legs.

I was kneel at her knees now and I took one of her legs in my hand and let my fingers dance across the soles of her feet. Not even a chuckle. But by the noises she was making I deduced that she had a thing about her feet.

I pulled my hand across her ankle, then over her calf. I thought I felt her tense a little as I kept moving upward, slowly so I wouldn't miss anything. My fingertip barely graced over the back of her knee, when I knew I felt I tense up. She went rigid up my hands. I thought I might have hurt her for a minute.

Then she pulled her leg from my hand and dropped it to the blanket.

" What's wrong ?" I asked, suspecting I knew.

" Nothing." She smiled back at me as she reached for me. That's what really cinched it for me. The smile she gave me was her fake one.

I let her pull me down into her arms and kiss me. Now she was suddenly changing the subject.

While she was busy kissing me, I used the advantage I had of being bigger than she was and reached down to her knee.

She nearly bit my tongue when I brushed my finger over the back of her knee again.

" Castle." She said in her Mommy voice. She used it on me often. It wasn't going to work this time.

As I moved back in for the kill, her hand came up and touched my chest. " Rick, Please I hate to be tickled." She said so quietly it stopped me instantly.

Alright. She won. Just hearing her use my name made my heartbeat jump again.

I continued to move down her body, making her think I was ignoring her plea. But I stopped at her stomach and stayed there to pepper her skin with kisses. I wasn't really that interested in tickling her anymore. I shifted again as my hands found the waistband of her lacy black panties. Wow, they matched her bra, I thought, inanely. I wouldn't have pegged her for the type that worried about such things. Again, she surprised me.

I sat back for a minute, taking in her body, lit by the firelight and wondering what it was I had done to deserve to be where I was. I wasn't really that special when it came right down to it. I certainly wasn't special enough to be worthy of the sight before me.

She started to squirm self consciously and I reached my hand out to still her. " You are just so beautiful."

" Rick," She whispered as I lowered my head back down to her stomach. I could feel her warmth where my hand was resting on her thigh. My fingers inched closer to the heat of their own accord until soon I felt her curls brushing against my fingertip.

I heard her breath catch in her throat as I traced across her mound slowly. By the time I found the tight bundle of nerves I was seeking, she was almost panting. Her hand clutched in my hair as I continued to taste every inch of her I could get to.

She gasped loudly when I replaced my finger with my tongue. I just needed to taste her. It was something I had been dreaming about for so long. I wasn't disappointed. In fact, it was so far beyond what I'd imagined it didn't even come close.

Her hands balled into fist in the sheet at her sides. Her back arched off the floor as her body tensed under me. I could feel her inner walls clutching at my tongue and I almost groaned out loud with her. Just the thought of what her body could do to mine was enough to make me throb.

When she finally relaxed and her back sagged back to the blanket, I let her go, kissing my way back up her body. Her chest was heaving as she tried to bring her breathing back under control and her cheeks were rosy when I made it back to her face. Her eyes were still closed.

I gave her a little space and took the opportunity to stoke the fire and divest myself of the rest of my clothing.

She was wearing my favorite smile when I stretched back out beside her. Her hand came lazily up to my shoulder and she pulled me down to her for a kiss. A gentle, tender kiss that quickly grew into something much more. Soon our tongues were battling again and our hands were exploring every inch of each other. She gasped when my bare leg brushed against hers. I guess she hadn't heard me removing my jeans.

But before I could say anything one of her hands was cupping my ass and the other was making a trail straight down the center of my chest. She paused only long enough to tangle her fingertip in the trail of hair that covered my navel before continuing on.

My lips were fused with hers as she made her exploration of my body. They didn't leave them until her hand circled around me and I had to throw my head back at the feeling. Nothing could have prepared me for the feel of her hand on me like that. In all my years nothing had felt as good as when she began to squeeze me into her palm. Then she began to move along my length. She moved languidly, guardedly, like she was testing out how I felt in her hand and gauging my reaction to her ministrations. My reaction couldn't have been more obvious when my hips subconsciously bucked into her touch.

Her eyes found mine and we stared at each other while she continued her action. It wasn't long until I was the one squirming as she picked up the pace. She moved from the base of my body to the head of my length and paused there for a moment to swirl her finger around the ridge she found there, then she went right back to the base. I was so lost in what she was doing to me with her touch, I barely registered that she was moving until I found myself laying flat on my back where she had just been and she was hovering over me. She hadn't missed a beat while shifting us into our new positions. Her hand still engulfed me, driving me crazy.

Then her hand stopped at the base and my heart did as well when her warm breath brushed over my head. My hips twitched again and I fought the urge to plunge them upwards, knowing patience would serve me better. I was right. A moment later, I felt her tongue sliding along me leaving a hot trail of moisture as she went. Then her warm mouth was surrounding me, drawing me into her throat and holding me there for a handful of moments. When she pulled back, she used her tongue just like she had her finger, swirling it around the head and causing my entire body to shake with the sensation.

I was helpless to fight against the sounds I was making and I was very glad that we had to place to ourselves. The noises I was making made it sound like she was killing me. And she was. She was slowly torturing me to death.

My hand was tangled in her hair, just resting there feeling her head bobbing over me. I made a concentrated effort not to egg her on or push her in any way. Somehow I knew it was important to let her be in charge at the moment. So I let her do whatever she wanted to me. Especially when what she was doing felt so amazing.

I could feel myself heading towards that wonderful abyss that beckoned me and I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to tell her that she had to stop.

She understood and pulled herself away from me, returning to my lips before I had a chance to register the movement.

She was hardly back at my side before I shifted both us, drawing her under me and positioning myself at her entrance. Her legs came around my waist. I could feel her heels digging into the back of my thighs. Her arms were around my shoulders, holding me flush against her as we continued our now feverish kiss.

I shifted again, just slightly to make sure our bodies were perfectly aligned before starting forward, bracing myself for the feel of being inside her.

She stopped me at the very last instant. I could feel her moisture and wet against the head of my length and I whimpered as I stilled instead of moving forward.

" What is it ?" I asked when she pulled away again.

" Condom." The word fell from her lips like it was an afterthought. But what an important afterthought it was. I hadn't been thinking about anything but how great her body was about to feel around me. I was glad one of us still had enough sense to be reasonable.

She let me go and I snatched my jeans from where I'd dropped them, yanking my wallet from the back pocket and retrieving the small, silver foil disk.

" Of course you carry one in your wallet." She rolled her eyes at me.

I held it up as I tore it opened. " Yes, aren't you glad I do ?" I replied.

She snatched it from me once I had it opened and my eyes nearly rolled back in my head as she rolled it over me. By the time I was back where I wanted to be, I was shivering in anticipation.

" Are you sure you aren't cold ?" She asked when she noticed.

I covered her lips and slid into her, sinking down until I had nowhere else to go, then I pulled back and my eyes locked with hers as we shared the experience together. I repeated the movement, slower this time, letting myself indulge in the feeling of her walls caressing me as I moved.

" I am far from cold." I managed to assure her.

She threw her head back, clutched at my shoulders and let out a long, slow moan as I did it again, nearly removing myself from her body, before plunging all the way back in.

" Rick," Her back arched as my name fell from her lips and I took the opportunity to engulf of breast again. She had the most beautiful breasts I'd ever seen. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed them before. I mean really noticed them. I knew they were there of course. I had fantasized about them many times. But now that I knew how truly magnificent they were I wondered how I'd ever be able to think about anything else.

She was urging me now, using her body to insist that I pick up the pace. I obliged because I was helpless to do anything else. Soon we were slamming into each other with a force that jarred my clenched teeth. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her nails dug into my flesh as she meet me move for move.

It was exactly how I imagined it. Her body reading mine, mine reading hers. I always knew we'd be great at this and I wasn't disappointed. What was happening between us was truly spectacular.

When she finally had enough, her whole body tensed under me, muscles clenched all at once and she shouted something incoherent to the darkness surrounding us.

I followed a moment later, the feel of her body squeezing me so tightly it was almost painful was my undoing.

I shouted, " I love you." as my body spasmed and emptied itself into her.

I collapsed to the blanket beside her, drawing her along and cradling her into my side as I fought to regain some perspective and pull air into my oxygen starved lungs.

She was panting as well. I heard her gasp softly as she tried to regain control of her body.

When we were a little more calm, I shifted so I could see her face. I didn't want the silence to turn into something awkward. I was a little nervous that after the heat of the moment she might have second thoughts. I wanted to see to it that that did not happen.

I was not about to miss my chance of ever experiencing that again. In my mind, I knew what we could be like together. I had imagined it over and over again. But now that my suspicions were confirmed, now that I knew for a fact how amazing it was, there was no way I was going to let her walk away from me, from us. Not now, not a chance.

I brushed the hair from her face and gave her a smile that I hoped was reassuring and conveyed exactly what I was feeling. Her smile, when she found my eyes was exactly the one I'd been hoping for, my favorite. The soft one that tugged at the corners of her lips.

I opened my mouth to speak, but her finger came up to stop me. " Don't ruin it." She warned me.

I closed my mouth swallowed and opened it again. " I wasn't going to ruin it. I was just going to say that I love you."

She shifted and something crossed her face that I wasn't sure of, but my smile disappeared. Maybe I had ruined it after all. I hadn't meant to. That certainly wasn't my intentions. But it really looked like I might have.

" Kate ?" I prompted, wanting her to tell me what was going on in her head. I hated when I couldn't read her. I normally read her so well, when she through up her walls like she was trying to do now, it was like suddenly being blinded. Like I was missing one of my senses.

" I'm not sure what to say to that." She said after another moment of silence.

" What ?" I asked, not at all sure I liked where this was heading. ' I love you, too' had always worked for me in the past and to hear her say it would be beyond bliss.

She shifted again and made a move to grab at the sweater she'd been wearing like she wasn't comfortable being naked any longer. I helped her into it, then sat there beside her, waiting for her to give me some kind of explanation.

She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. " I've never been here before." She said at long last.

" What do you mean ' here' ?" I wanted to know. She had pulled back into herself so far, I couldn't make any sense of things anymore.

She turned her body to face me and I nearly choked over the look on her face. She looked mournful, almost tearful like she had just done something she wasn't sure she could forgive herself for. " I don't think I've ever been this invested in someone other than myself in my life. I'm not sure how to deal with that." She admitted.

" Neither have I." I replied. " This...whatever it is between us is bigger than anything I've ever been involved with before." I tried to explain. " Kate, you are all I think about. Every second of my day is wrapped up in you in some way. Everything I am is somehow connected to you now."

She blinked at me and her brow furrowed. " How can you be so casual about that ? How does that not scare the hell out of you ?"

" It does." I answered. " It terrifies me. But," I slid a little closer to her and pulled her into me before kissing her. " This is worth the risk. We are worth the risk. I never imagined it could be this good between us."

The smile was almost back when I pulled away. " Spent a lot of time imagining us together, have you?" She asked me.

" You have no idea." I told her.

" So have I." She replied without the least bit of humor in her voice now. " Maybe that's the problem. Things don't happen like this. Nothing ever lives up to your imagination. It isn't supposed to work like that."

Now I was the one smiling. " So you're telling me the problem is, it was too good."

She punched my shoulder playfully and I relaxed a little. If she was willing to joke about this I had a chance of making it all alright. It was when she got serious that it became a problem.

I decided to try again to make her see where I stood with this, with her. I needed her to understand. "For the first time in my long and complicated life, I feel like I'm right where I should be. Tell me you don't feel that way, too."

I didn't think she was going to answer me she took so long to respond. " I do. You make me feel like nothing else exists beyond you. I don't know how to deal with that."

I nuzzled her neck elated at her admission. " Just go with it." I told her. " There are few times in our lives that we really get to enjoy ourselves. This is one of those times. Don't over think it and mess it up. Just enjoy it. Tomorrow will work itself out."

She leaned away from me at hearing that. " What if it doesn't work itself out the way we want it to ?"

I shrugged. " It probably won't. Life has a way of doing that to us. But one thing I can promise you," I caught her eyes with mine. " Whatever life throws at us, it won't be strong enough to take you away from me."

Something softened in her, like she physically relaxed all of a sudden. It was like watching all the air leave a balloon and soon she was sagging against me, nuzzling my shoulder. " I think I love you, too." I heard her say, though it was a bit muffled by my skin against her lips.

I pulled back. I had waited to long to hear that. I wanted to make sure I heard it right. " What was that? I think I missed it."

A blush rose up over her cheeks and she smiled and looked away from for a moment. Then she found my eyes again and I watched her tongue snake out to wet her lips. " I said, I love you, too." She repeated.

"See, that's all we really need to know. As long as we remember that, all the rest of the stuff will work itself out." I told her.

She listened to what I had to say, then nodded in response. " We can do this. We can make this work."

I chuckled as I drew her into me. " This already works." I replied as I pulled her back down beside me and kissed her again.


End file.
